Undelivered Emails

My live sometimes feel like a over eager email server.
Either its to busy to receive any emails
Or its waiting for me to make a change and hit the mail button
Sometimes it feels like I have more undelivered emails than send once.

If that is so, I live a very sucluded life or I actually live no Life at all.

Which one is the more scary one of the two, the no Life or the living of a Life that's non existing.

Where is that impact that I promised I will make?

And if I die tomorrow will I dissapear off the face of the planet just as quickly as I apppeared.

I should be sending more mails than receiving and definetly need to stop typing drafts and not send them.

It's me again

I wake up
it's dark
my fist is numb
my heart is thumping against my chest
my body is lame
my eyes wet
the room is dark
it's spinning

I'm here again
I'm stuck again
I need to find the door
I need to find a window
I need to find a light

It's so dark
it's so sore
It's so small
It's to big

I'm stuck

There is something holding me down
something pressing against my chest
something holding my hands
something pressing onto my legs

I'm paralyzed
my fist is crying
my head is screaming
my heart is thumping

PLEASE HELP
I think
I can see my lips moving
I can see the words hiding

I wake up
alone
sore
only to realise I lost it
I lost you
I broke it
I messed it up

it's me again

skadu

Dis donker, dis swart
Ek sit, ek staar
Ek voel erg verdwaal

Waar is ek, waar is jy?

Dis sy skuld
Die skaduwee
As ek kon sou ek hom laat kwyn

Ek het jou verloor
Al wat agter bly is Niks verstaan

Liefde was hier en nou dit weg

Mis jou, mis my

the end

Bluebottle this seems to be the end for you. You were a living organism for 7months,today exactly!

This is the end! Your hopes, your dreams are shuttered!

You need to move on, need to pack up and go.

At long last

At long last you said; "I finally come to the realization that you are very good for me. I will no longer push you away I will embrace you and treasure every moment we spend together. I truly LOVE YOU. You have my heart."

I waited, I prayed and on the 31st you said it.
Amazing feeling!

I can be with you for as long as you will let me. I'm willing to jump over the moon for you!
I want you! I need you! And I love you!

This year is our year!

Can't wait to have 365days with you filled with passion and love!
Love you Babe

differences

There is a difference in every love affair
There is a difference in any and every relationship
There is a difference in how you love a person
That difference amazes me, feels as if as age moves on I learn different ways of loving.
Different ways of showing it
And defnetly feel different about love

Very weird to think that there could be such a big difference in the way my new relationship is compared to the old.
How very different I feel in this one compared to the old

Amazes me

if i could i would

If I could I would do today all over again, so that I have more time to spend with you.

If I could I'll phone you with any stupid question so that I can only hear your voice.

If I could I'll kiss you every second of everyday to show you how much I care.

If I could I'll tell you with every breath how much I love you and what you mean to me.

If I could I would